to Wonder or Wander

page 1

This is the thing.

I have been looking for this project for a long time. My inner creative divining rod has always pointed me back to comics, even if what I think I should do creatively is something else. Comics, specifically Calvin and Hobbes, were what got me drawing in the first place. But what comic do I make? What am I looking for?

I spent roughly 10 years working on a comic called The Terror bears vs Count Rockula, which is basically 50 pages of all the most inappropriate and depraved things I could think to make 3 cute bears do. By the time I finished it, I was over it. I self-published 50 copies and distributed them in some local book and comic stores, sold a few, and gave a bunch to my friends. I originally intended to continue making more Terror bear stories, but the concept I had thought was amazing as an 18-year-old was not as exciting to my then 28-year-old self. Starting another long-form comic just seemed like too much to deal with. Those 50 pages took me 10 years and a lot of agonizing. So I retreated to working on my sketchbooks and paintings and figured I would focus more on illustrative work.

(The Terror bears vs Count Rockula. read full comic here, parental advisory )

Years went by, skills got sharper, other projects got finished or abandoned, I made a few collaborative comics and a few personal ones, but nothing that really felt like the thing I wanted to make in a long-term way.

I wanted something that felt like working in my sketchbook, looked like an illustration, and read like a comic. I wanted someplace to put all the random goofy or semi-insightful notes I jot down in my sketchbooks. A place for the strange impossible landscapes that seem to be what I draw if I’m not drawing a face. Weird little meditations on whatever subjects my brain seems to gravitate to. Things I wonder while I wander around.

(sketchbook page: I wanted to find a way to make a page like this into a comic, future blog posts will have more process info probably)

(Another page of something I wanted to figure out how to make into more of a comic page)

(A few sketchbook tidbits on the path to making this comic)

(some of my “floating Landscape” paintings)

Then one day I had an idea to create a comic that was a single landscape that covers the entire page but broken into panels. A character could meander through this landscape, commenting on it or revealing something to the reader in some way. I sat down and drew this.

(My first Inked page).

It felt so good to make. Trying to find a visual voice that made the most sense, something I could draw within my comfort zone while pushing the boundaries of how I thought about and wrote a comic. It felt alive to me in a way that I am always looking to find in a project. The first was a test, and I was champing at the bit to make more. But, I was about to move and had so many things to do. The project sat for a while, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

As soon as my family and I were settled into our new home and I had a place to work, I went back to it, making 2 more pages in what seemed like a flurry of excitement. Now I had 3 inked and uncolored pages, but in my mind, I knew color was going to make them come alive in a deeper way.

(Video of coloring process, music by Dust Collector).

Coloring something in is always sort of mystical to me. It’s not a language that comes naturally. I’ve had to learn how it works and then figure out how to make it work for me. It’s always sort of an unknown as to what colors will actually end up in a finished piece. But once they landed, the comic really came alive.

Since then, I have been continuing to make more and more pages. I have shared with friends and relatives a bit, but I have been reluctant to post them. There is something about keeping a project close while you find your voice in it. I suppose there is a fear that I will release this thing that I find so much joy in creating, and then, I will feel disappointed with the response . I also wanted it to have a clearer shape, while every page can, stand on its own, there is something that takes shape once you have a number of finished pages. The whole becomes more than the sum of all its parts… hopefully.

With that in mind, I decided that when I reached 10 pages I would start releasing them in some way. Till then, I wanted them to be just for me, my friends, and family.

I have now been working steadily on them and while my initial inferno of enthusiasm has dimmed a bit, I'm still finding more ways to keep this project alive and exciting for me. That said, I am putting the finishing touches on the 10th installment now. So here we go.

Here’s my Plan.

I plan on releasing 1 page a week for 10 weeks. The finished comic page itself will be available to all. However, as a means of supporting this project I will also be releasing a blog post, somewhat like this one, that is a glimpse into the creative process of each page. These will be behind a $6 a month pay wall.

I really hope that people dig this comic. Please share it with anyone you think might enjoy it. It would be my dream to make this thing into my job, and any support you feel you can offer would be greatly appreciated. If this grows big enough, I will be able to release them more regularly/do more things with this community. You know like merch and shit.

If you want to sign up for a paid subscription now, you can see next week's page immediately, but you will have to wait till next week to get the full behind-the-scenes treatment.

Thank you so much for looking and reading; I think it only gets better from this one.

-Aaron Zonka